You have the BSE - Baby Scoop Era it sort of ended in the mid to late 80s, but not fully. Then you have my generation, the "inbetweeners" from about mid 80's to the late 90's. Finally, you have the "modern" generation, the era of "open adoption". However, for the" modern" generation it is also a big difference between the UK and USA. In the USA, TV programs like 16 and Pregnant "celebrate" open adoption. In the UK, for the "modern" generation social services has been involved and the children have been removed from their family and an adoption order granted. So the adoption is more focused on adopting out of the foster care system and that the adoptee is fully aware of their circumstance growing up. Although, it seems from posts I see in some of the UK forums it that Local Authorities and Judge's issues adoption orders far to quickly...so in the UK it looks like a new BSE period is on the horizon...I will try to write more about this another time.
My generation of "inbetweener" mothers are more vocal about our adoption journeys and yes, some of us are angry...mainly we are hurt...like the previous generation we told that we will forget...so forgive us for speaking up and telling the world that adoption can suck...especially for those of us who "voluntary" sought adoption for our children...we were lead to believe that it was the best for our child and ourself...then we learn the ugly truth...we will never forget our child and adoption hurts our children and us...the pain will never go away. Can you understand why we feel hurt?
So what should we do? First we must forgive ourself...if we don't any potential reunion with our child will never be successful. We must share our stories, learn from each other and educate others on the long term effects of adoption. Most of all, we must respect that each of us have an unique adoption journey and support each other.